The loss of a loved one is a profound experience. It shakes your reality, makes you question the meaning of life, the behaviour of people around you, the way you look at your own mortality, the mortality of those around you, and it creates an inertia in your life that seeps through every cell of your being.
The realization you will never physically see this person, have lunch with this person, perhaps buy a present for this person , hear their voice, hold their hand, or kiss this person is the strangest feeling. If you fought with this person, had painful experiences with this person, and there is unresolved feelings, then the depth of your grief may become peppered with guilt and confusion.
If this person was your child, then your grief becomes a black hole with seemingly no end. Once the funeral is over, the sympathy cards have stopped arriving, the phone calls to find out how you are have ceased, you are left with the job of grieving and putting your life back together.
Grieving is a process, often producing external tears and internal sadness. It can feel quiet lonely and dark. Do not be alone in your grief. If you feel you no longer can turn to trusted friends and family be sure to seek professional help. Even though you will always miss this person it is possible to have peace again.